Most people use the terms “sex” and “gender” interchangeably. They are the same thing, aren’t they? This confusion exists because we’re taught from a young age that our anatomy dictates our expression of masculinity or femininity. Society tightly weaves sex and gender together, teaching us that one influences the other. It feels natural and inevitable. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Sex is physical. It’s about anatomy, hormones, and chromosomes. Sex is assigned at birth, based on the genitalia an infant has. Some people are born with indeterminate genitalia.

Gender is the personal expression of masculine and feminine traits. It’s how we choose to express ourselves through behavior, clothing, and roles, influenced by cultural norms about what it means to be male or female. Society traditionally expects people’s gender to align with their biological sex, dictating how they should dress, act, and even what they should like or dislike. These expectations are all social constructs.

Because I have a penis and testicles, I’m expected to be the Marlboro man, to wear pants and collared shirts, like beer, football, rugby, and to be stoic. I’m supposed to be snips, snails, and puppy-dogs’ tails.

Because I have a vagina and ovaries, I’m expected to be a ballerina, to like everything pink, to want frilly dresses, to use makeup, to be polite and delicate. I’m supposed to be sugar and spice and everything nice.

Because I have a penis and testicles, I can’t possibly want to wear lipstick or a long purple wig. I shouldn’t want to know what a flowing summer dress feels like. Underwear that makes me feel pretty is taboo. Expressing any interests or feelings that might appear as feminine must be squashed and terminated.

Because I have a vagina and ovaries, I can’t possibly want to go hunting, or join the military, or wear pants. … But wait, women can do those things now. The women’s rights movement brought access to military service, wearing pants, and greater freedom of personal expression. Liberation, though far from complete, gave women the choice to blend masculine and feminine traits. Female astronauts and lumberjacks are normal now.

When is the reciprocal Men’s Liberation to embrace the feminine?

Society enforces gender constructs through the fear of being labeled as queer. Men don’t paint their nails because they don’t want to be mistaken as gay. Women who wear flannel shirts and short haircuts must be lesbians. Fear of being perceived as gay is homophobia. Homophobia drives the enforcement of gender expression norms.

Now, imagine a world without gender expression expectations. Imagine a world without homophobia. Where men in skirts and nail polish, running daycare centers, are not assumed to be gay. (And who cares if they are!) Where everyone can express themselves authentically without fear of ridicule or discrimination.

Imagine a world where chromosomal and genital anatomy do not dictate behavior. Where words like masculine, feminine, non-binary, gender-fluid, and transgender are obsolete because identity expression has become limitless. Imagine a world where sex is merely anatomy and gender is whatever you choose it to be.

Further Reading:

Sex and Gender. Council of Europe. https://www.coe.int/en/web/gender-matters/sex-and-gender

Sex and Gender Identity. Planned Parenthood. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/gender-identity/sex-gender-identity

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